.png)
November as expected, has been so eventful and along with the weather, has been a season of change. Let’s take a moment and pause to reflect on all that went on this month — Stephanie
Lifestyle, Lows, Lessons
Each month I keep saying it’s been go-go-go and change, though I must say this November would be the epitome of the passage of time and change. I started off the month preparing for a big move, while balancing work (and another conference lol, though hopefully the last of the year), and making time for friends and family as my birthday was approaching. I feel like each of these pillars were so busy that it was hard to be fully present in each, and to say I was overwhelmed but trying to take each day at a time as I feel thankful to feel full in pillar.
Work continued to be busy, the later half of this year has been a recurring theme - though this month, perhaps I was getting used to things (and the many unexpected turn of events and conferences lol) or a mix of being occupied with other things in my personal life - that I stopped being so affected by the unexpected events that come up. Is this adapting? I’ve stepped up in more occasions than once this month, surprisingly not only when I was voluntold - but voluntary volunteering for things as well when it seemed morale was low. I think back and I don’t have regrets, and it was eyeopening to have a couple coworkers open up to me about how they’ve been feeling. With that being said, I did have fun at work this month too - from a sushi making event to tarot reading that led to deeper conversations and bonding with a coworker, to putting myself in extroverted mode and conference-ing again, which led to finding a lot of similarities with a colleague who was also at the conference reception. It’s cliche, but they say people may not remember what you did, but they remember how you made them feel — very true, as I think back to this month now that weeks have passed and I remember less about the mundane busywork, but more about my colleagues who I was able to get closer with and made me feel a sense of community.
In my personal life, I feel so full quite physically with the move, as well as in my family and friendships. Starting with the move, it’s been bittersweet forsure to finally experience it in fruition after months of anticipation. At the start of the month, my sister and I packed our stuff and I uhaul-’d with my dad, which surprisingly uhaul-ing was much easier than expected. Physically it hasn’t been too difficult (though parking has been a learning in progress given the new place is quite tight), but mentally I feel like I haven’t quite had the time to process as right after my move, I had to do a number of in-person things for work, and then it was my birthday weekend just a few days after. It feels weird and a bit anticlimactic to have crossed this homeowner milestone, perhaps it’s the number of events that happened this month that I haven’t had the time to create space to fully process and experience all the emotions. We’re jumping ahead here, but that’s also why I decided to make time despite my busy-ness to go back to therapy, to create time and space to process all the change in my life. Also spoiler alert (while it’s only been one session) so far I’ve been getting good vibes from this therapist, and if y’all have been following my therapy journey - the last therapist I tried left me more sad than before our session lol so I am very thankful for the current therapist.
OK we’re skipping ahead of the move because as I type this at the end of the month/start to Dec, I finally feel like I have time to unpack and process. Prior - despite moving all my stuff in boxes, they’ve just been sitting in the house as I was trying to be present for other life events. As my birthday was coming up, I feel very fortunate to have people in my life who care about me and want to be there on my day. This year, instead of just going out (yes I still love to have fun) I was trying to think about what it is that I stand for and enjoy, and what I want to share with those that I care about. Pilates, volunteering, cafes, good music and drinks - ok we didn’t get to go through everything on my list lol but I am thankful I got to spread the magic of pilates and Sam heh and invite my friends over for dinner and drinks at my new place, My new place is so cold with Fall transitioning to Winter, and I felt bad I wasn’t unpacked and barely had anything ready for everyone at my new house and I felt like a bad host, but then having everyone over symbolically made the place such a warmer welcome to the new home. Not everyone who initially committed was able to make it, and younger me would’ve been upset, but the current me wasn’t as affected and accepted that people have different things going on in their lives that come up, and I extra appreciated those who did show up - both old and new friends. I had so much fun (and yap sessions) reuniting with Jin, each day was so eventful (a bit too eventful) that it feels like we aged a whole season during this reunion lol. It felt extra special that both of us were able to have good convos with friends from different circles, from Homen and Amanda from Jin’s circle, to seeing Jin get along with Tammie, Ashley, Christina, Vivan, and Piper.
Of course gotta have a dedicated section to my new love of this year - Pilates. Not just any Pilates though, hot mat pilates at local studio for all the good and warm vibes. I’ve been raving about how it’s made a difference in my life this year, from joining my local studio initially for yoga but trying a Pilates class on a whim (then going crazy like 6am crazy), and it’s been much more than just a workout for me, but the mindfulness I feel with each class I take. Specifically my first ever instructor Sam, who I only got to know for a short time in March before she relocated, but made such a profound impact on me. I wanted to take her class again and share it with the people I love, and shamefully I drank a lil bit too much the night before lol and was not in the right headspace the next day. I felt so bad for inviting everyone to go with me, and I was feeling under the weather. I was getting anxious and was about to forfeit and then I felt so bad for being like this. But then I decided to just go and try my best since everyone is showing up for me, and worst comes worst, if I feel sick in the middle of class - I can always step out, but I should at least try. So I tried and had sooo much fun and it reminded me so much of how Sam’s classes hit. (though anxious most of class haha bc I was feeling under the weather and shameful of my actions the night before). What made my heart extra warm was seeing my friends enjoy the class, especially those who took it for the first time, and also that Sam recognized Ashley and I :’) especially considering how we haven’t seen her in half a year and barely got to know her before she relocated. Second, I feel extra gratitude for the local studio that I kept going to consistently at 6am the past 9 months. While I enjoy the class, it’s mostly been me-time where I work on myself when I go to class, I don’t necessarily talk to anyone other than the instructor. Halfway through the year, I decided to get out of my shell and say Hi to the girl next to me because I always see the same girl next to me, and little did I expect this lighthearted friendship - would lead to someone who kept remembering my birthday and my last day of class and surprising me with flowers. Totally unexpected, and I felt a rush of warmth, not just from the gift itself - but a sense of community I’ve left here, even if it’s just with the one friend I made and my instructor - making this another bittersweet parting. This year has been a plethora - so much change and difficult life events as well as highs, I didn’t know it then in March when I started Pilates - but it was exactly what I needed to keep me grounded through the year.
And now Family, Family made such a big part of my month in a variety of ways. From my extended family - my mother’s siblings (my aunt and uncle) who surprise showed up to help us with the move day, gifted us with appliances, and my aunts who continue to surprise us with homecooked meals - has warmed my heart in so many ways to see how much we mean to them, and that how much they show up for my mom. For my sister, who while we often do not see eye to eye, I’ve really seen her step up in her own way and grown a lot this month, and take on responsibilities in more ways than expected. For my parents, who means the world - and who has continued to show so much love and support. It has been a myriad of emotions with my parents, I don’t think I’m ready to write too much on it here in this blog as I am still working through it - but even through the difficult times, I still love them the same.
This month has been a plethora of events and emotions - I get sentimental easily haha, I used to hate how my birthday is at the end of the year when it gets cold and I’m often the youngest in my year - but now I think it is quite an honor to have my birthday on the same month of Thanksgiving and giving me the time to pause with loved ones over Thanksgiving break, and an extra introspective month of reflecting what I am thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for - from my career (I still remember the days I felt worried about the future), the new home (for my parents who came here with nothing, a home that once felt like a far fetched fantasy), for my health (that allows me to do hot pilates heh), and for my friends and family (who keeps me grounded and full).
My pick of the month: Birthday Reflection Questions
I started this tradition last year - where I told myself I’ll ask myself these same 3 questions and answer it each year. So here’s 2024:
How do you feel about this Birthday?
A plethora of emotions, but Love and Gratitude is definitely prominent. Especially on my birthday weekend itself, I was surrounded by so much love. From my aunt and parents who surprised me, to my close friends for showing up in so many ways. Each friend who did show up, had so much going on - more than I knew of on the day of my birthday, and still showed up. I know I am loved every year from my family and close friends, but this year felt extra special because of those who went out of their way and showed up despite having a lot going on, the thoughtfulness in each gift I received, and the quality time I was given. In addition to the love I feel from others, I’ve learned to let down my walls and insecurities just a tad bit more - and learning to love myself more too. I try to put on a strong front at work, but when it comes to my personal life - I kept apologizing (by habit lol) on my birthday, and my friends and loved ones reminded me that it is okay to not always be on top of it and that I don’t always have to apologize. I love and feel loved, and can’t wait for all that I’ve yet to learn/see/meet.
How do you feel about ageing and people knowing your age?
26 - crazy I still feel 25 hah jokes aside though, age is mostly just a number to me these days. I remember when I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up and often rushed the process. Now that I am 26, I wish time would slow down a bit to truly savor each moment. For the most part, I don’t feel much about my age, but I think it will hit me more when I start to see signs of wrinkling (no jinxing lol) and that I do hope to eventually find someone I feel deeply connected to, to do life with and start a family.
What surprised you most over the past 12 months?
This is such a loaded question and I wish I did more introspecting on this question before writing right now as I am writing the first things that come to mind:
Family and Mental Health
Pilates - the 6am dedication and consistency, the mind body connection, the mindfulness, community
Work - putting myself out there, like keynote out there
Home - period
Myself - while my morals and values remain the same, each year I learn more about myself in ways I didn’t the year prior. The beauty of aging is that we get to understand not just the world around us better, but ourselves better.
And that’s a long wrap! Thank you for taking the time to pause and reflect with me, and my raw and messy thoughts. This month was filled in so many ways, I continue to have so much to be thankful for. I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving and wonderful holiday season - can’t wait to catch up after Christmas and the New Year!
Sending you best wishes, gratitude, and warmth going into December.
Chat soon in Jan 2025,
— Stephanie
Bình luận